I saw the ape man coming from over the hill to stand beside the river and drink his fill.  It was a night when the sky was dark and cloudy and filled with the ominous sense of doom.  Ape men never worry about frightful things.  Everything, for them, is both an opportunity and a challenge and many things represent tomorrow’s dinner.  “It’s what’s for dinner,” they may often say as they’re scraping the last hairs off their ill fashioned stone utensils.  The ape man hangs from a tree and doesn’t think about cars, or computers, or fashion, or who will be the next president, or whether some country half of a world away is going to do something nasty.  They are only concerned about whether they can jump from where they are hanging to the ground without breaking something in their own body.  Once in a while, one ape man will fight another ape man.  These altercations are usually over an ape woman or two.  Ape men like bananas and other fruit, and bugs, and grasshoppers, and anything else that is edible and not poisonous.  Ape men are not vegetarians, although plant life makes up most of their diet due to the fact that they would rather sit around the campfire and play music and whistle tunes they remember from their childhoods rather than get up to go out and kill something to eat.  They are known to pick bugs out of each other’s hair, out of trees, and out of water pools.  Sometimes they eat these bugs, but, more often than not, they just play with them or put them on a string and wear them.  No one reading this should try to equate ape men with any other form of human or animal that they have encountered in the past.  They are nothing like either of these.

~ Bob Zaboo